Today I struggled so much to pick what I wanted to eat that I cried. 

Why is it so hard to decide what I wanna eat?

Why simple things seem complicated?

So stressful to me. I'm Tryna eat right but I don't kno how to cook. 

Don't even have a girlfriend to help me cook. 

I would prefer cooked meals 5x a week if I can. 

I jus wanna be happy. That's all. Why must tears flow for simple shit 

Yea. I really hate being ignored. 

Yea. So that showed how mad I am. But so what. This moment shall pass.  I kno I'm important.  Jus want to be respected like I am. Cuz I am 

I'm going to make it so I'm not the one to text first. Reason being I'm too responsive. People will text me and I'll respond fast cuz im always responsive. But let me text "hey" or simply ask a question and it will takes at least 30mins to respond. Then I'll text right away again.  I mean I don't wait but how I respond, it's like I was. 

This has been a year for me. 

Losing my brother is one of the hardest things I've endured.  Lost him 2/26/15 12:30 am.  That moment changed my life.  I cry now as I right this. It's symbolizes how I'm keeping all this in and not releasing. I need to release more. 

Now I don't like the look crying gives but I also gotta learn to care less.  I cry cuz I hurt not cuz I'm soft.  

A friend told me to journal ya feelings. It was a good idea.  Wit that being said 

I feel like I need the tears to run.  I need to release this stress. I don't want it and I feel like its hindering me from  the land of "better"