Please Lord keep my soul on track. 

I get frustrated. And iriatated wit things of the flesh. 

Keep me in the mindset of disciplining my emotions. 

I jus wanna be happy. 

Amen. 

Lord, Your goodness is enough to make me thankful every day. Teach me to live with a thankful heart and reminded me to regularly thank You for Your goodness and steadfast love.

A fiend of mine called me and told me she broke up wit her dude cuz he don't show affection. 

Man what I would do to express affection to a woman.  It's been a while. Prolly like 9-10yrs 

The day is fine. People call and chill wit me. Hang out. Blaze. Some even stop by. 

But when it's time to go to sleep or jus chill at night, I get so damn lonely. 

Sure I can hit up someone and see what it do 

But I get curved so much that I don't wanna attempt to reach out. 

Cuz I don't like being in pig shit. 

I can't remember the last time I had a long stimulating conversation with a woman that I liked 

When my low esteem comes on to me, I can't do nothing but let it pass thru like a kidney stone. 

I pray this ain't forever.  

I hear wit the overweight, it's more frequent the others. 

I'm a work in progress but I won't stop. 

Finished goods coming soon. 

I thank you Lord for having me pregnant with success.  I was strive and do my best to birth success

I think ima join match.com or something. Meet someone new. 

Today is jus one if them days. 

She came over 

 spent the night

and left in the morning 

but why am I sad she left?

Maybe being alone is better. 

Instead of being upset that you don't get enough attention. 

Work on yourself becoming better. 

Treat solitary like rehab

 Due to many apps needing me to login with Facebook I have to return to Facebook. 

But today I just got reminded why I left social media. 

Social media teaches you to open up, to talk to much, to be nosy, to snitch. I mean,  think about it, everybody and I do mean everybody place what they do/say/think/feel on social media knowing its no one damn business but yours

When it comes to me telling someone something, I truly believe the audience focuses on my state of mind rather than the message I'm saying to them

One thing about being a Pisces is the emotional state of mind when it comes to everything 

I've been trying my best and I will continue to try to get rid of this easily emotional attitude because it is not a good reflection of who I am

Today I struggled so much to pick what I wanted to eat that I cried. 

Why is it so hard to decide what I wanna eat?

Why simple things seem complicated?

So stressful to me. I'm Tryna eat right but I don't kno how to cook. 

Don't even have a girlfriend to help me cook. 

I would prefer cooked meals 5x a week if I can. 

I jus wanna be happy. That's all. Why must tears flow for simple shit 

Yea. I really hate being ignored. 

Yea. So that showed how mad I am. But so what. This moment shall pass.  I kno I'm important.  Jus want to be respected like I am. Cuz I am 

I'm going to make it so I'm not the one to text first. Reason being I'm too responsive. People will text me and I'll respond fast cuz im always responsive. But let me text "hey" or simply ask a question and it will takes at least 30mins to respond. Then I'll text right away again.  I mean I don't wait but how I respond, it's like I was. 

This has been a year for me. 

Losing my brother is one of the hardest things I've endured.  Lost him 2/26/15 12:30 am.  That moment changed my life.  I cry now as I right this. It's symbolizes how I'm keeping all this in and not releasing. I need to release more. 

Now I don't like the look crying gives but I also gotta learn to care less.  I cry cuz I hurt not cuz I'm soft.  

A friend told me to journal ya feelings. It was a good idea.  Wit that being said 

I feel like I need the tears to run.  I need to release this stress. I don't want it and I feel like its hindering me from  the land of "better"